Hot Air Balloon Kid Found

Well, the whole world got all worried for about 10 minutes when they thought a kid had taken off in his dad's hot air balloon. Turns out he was in a box, isn't that the first place you'd look? Well, the first place I'd look would be in the oven, but a box is like the natural habitat for kids. Meanwhile, the following mysteries remain unsolved.... Why hasn't this prat been stabbed to death by an ice-skate yet?

Has anyone seen Levi and Skipper the jewish dogs since they ran away in search of a decent kosher sausage?

What happened to this guy's mirror when he got dressed?

How much does this guy like cake? So much that he'd marry it, wait, nooooooo.

What will the first Swayze-less halloween be like?

How the hell did this geek find such a big game boy, or where did he find a shrinking machine, is he really Rick Moranis starring in a real life 'Honey I Shrunk Myself'?

How much does this guy love his camera? (that's rhetorical, I know he luurves his camera)

Can someone please tell this kid he's about 2000 years too late, but there's a book called the Bible which might help answer his question.

And most important, when will the world's favourite band, Goatpenis, release their new record. I heard it was produced by Pharrell.