Must have accessory

I'm pretty sure these are the only jeans on earth designed to accomodate the lethal combo of high kicks and a beardless Chuck Norris.

Keep Safe this long weekend

Yesssss, it's a long weekend. But before you go getting your freak on and start bashing midgets or chasing donkeys, remember, there are many dangers in modern life, so be wary of the following dangers:

Emo faggots hiding on myspace.White people with dreadlocks, and their nastier brethren, wannabe asian rastas.

The scourge of modern society, white ho's

Do not go near a wet beaver!!!

Beware of people who don't use toilet paper. People who use Toto toilets and washlets may not technically require toilet paper, but they are sick anus jetting freaks. (click to enlarge)

Don't let the playa haterz knock your hustle.

Apes on LSD are much worse than apes on PCP.

Whatever the fuck is happening in this picure, don't do it. Seriously, WTF is this?

Be on the look out for sneaky pervert horses.

Whatever you do in your own time is your business (unless you're a white person with dreadlocks) so I'm not saying don't do it, but at least don't get caught visiting dodgy websites. You're seriously telling me there are 1000s of gay thugs in Woy Woy?

And don't hang out with Candy, she's a nosey bitch.

Remembering WYD

I remember World Youth Day when all these kids were like, totally "high on life" and had yellow backpacks. It turns out that they were hanging out to agree on just how awesome Jesus was. When he's not nailed to a cross that guy rocks, no wonder so many people go nuts for him.

Having said that, something equally awesome are asians and flying hot dogs.

You don't see that very often, an asian with a moustache that is. Very impressive.

Trivia

The definition of trivia is random shit you don't really need to know. So here is some trivia in case you need some, but by definition, you don't, but here goes anyway. Kids love crayons, the bigger the better. And dogs too, kids think dogs are awesome, unless the dog is on heat, that can freak them out.

Fashion is awesome, and so are wangs. Fashion and wangs equal 'super awesome!'

Neil Armstrong was actually a stack of pancakes, which makes it even more awesome that he walked on the moon. Buzz Aldren, he was crepes.Did I mention kids love big crayons?

Historical note: Hitler liked to hit on drunk chicks with low self esteem, preferably drunk chicks with low self esteem and a passion for ethnic cleansing, although I heard he was more about the poontang than anything else.

Before Obama was the president of the world, he was in a movie called The Neverending Story. I've seen the beginning of that movie, but not the end, so I can't verify whether the movie really does end or not. If you know how the movie ends email me at ilove80sschlock@movies.com

This is a tiger.

I really can't re-iterate how much kids love big crayons.

Just looking at this picture makes me trip, I get bad deja vu.

The GFC is real, and it's hitting dinosaurs the worst.Santa Clause is dead.He was killed by a fat goth, probably died of laughter, or possibly stabbed to death with a guyliner pencil.
And remember, no matter how awesome your life is, you'll never be as awesome as this t shirt.

I need help

What's wrong with this picture? If you answered "the monkey's ear is way too high on its head" then you are correct.

And another thing, can someone please get the water board to add a new pre mixed cordial tap, lime cooler preferably, thanks.

Advanced Philosophy

I often wonder, if Michael Jordan was a pygmie, do you think he would have been asked to star in the hit movie Space Jam, or would they have asked Mugsy Bogues instead?

Send your answers to little23@questions.com

By the way, this bear is totally RAAD!

Guerilla Knitting

This is the high school picture of Zach de la Rocha, lead singer of Rage Against The Machine, which goes to show that even if you look like a bit of a puss when you're a kid, doesn't mean you can't grow up to totally exist on the outer edge of totally badass (not to be confused with Naughty Corey: he's a total puss living under the guise of being sorta badass, although, WTF hapenned to him, I haven't been to the methodone clinic in a few months, so I'm assuming he's dead now).

In the spirit of exploring the cross over of puss and badass, I present you with a new phenomenon brought to my attention by Ms Juju Space Jazz, it's called guerilla knitting and has nothing to do with gorillas who can play saxophones.

You see, these two kids learnt how to knit when their parents were killed in an industrial accident in a pillow factory. They were adopted by their grandma who had no TV and they learnt to knit for fun. But nothing could quell their burning rage and inner anguish, so they began to use their phenomenal knitting skills to 'stick it to the man'.

This is the tree that a possum family used to live in, until the guerilla knitters totally knitted all over it. The possums thought they were tripping and checked into rehab, where they were told that they were too hairy to receive treatment.

Then the kids started to deal drugs out of their grandma's garage, using her washing machine to cook meth, they had to mark their territory, so they knitted these booties. BTW, they made a fair bit of money so the gran now sublets part of their trade and deals benzos to the elder clientele looking for a high.

The kids got paranoid that cops were onto them, so they knitted this phone booth over. Not quite sure why, but they were on meth, so I guess we're lucky they didn't stab us.

In an attempt to offset the business that the guerilla knitters had developed which now was an empire that spanned borders, the US Army tried to knit a flag. I think they were thinking that if they could communicate on a level the guerillas understood then they might be able to negotiate. But it didn't work, amatuers army knitters couldn't command the respect of the guerillas because there were no stars on the flag and it was more square than oblong. They may be meth dealing guerillas, but they have standards and still appreciate craftsmanship.

And that is the story of how Kyle Sandilands got his big break in radio. The rest, as they say, is probably not a very accurate history.