An impending wave of awesome!

I have been informed by credible sources (an english person) that Hulk Hogan is not only in Australia, but he plans on bringing out some old school wrestlers for a show in November. As such, it's time to prepare for the impending wave of awesome that will be flooding our shores, here's what I recommend to get in shape:

Stop doing cross-stitch and knitting, it was funny in an ironic way for about a month but now it's just offensive, it's not an island anyway, it's a headland, twat!

Get off the computer, Hulk Hogan didn't get famous for having muscular typing fingers, he got famous for having mad guns and a white mullet.
Get yourself a sloth and teach it to ride one of these things.Better yet, get two sloths and teach them how to pull rad tricks.
Build yourself a house, but not out of bricks or twigs, what are you, a sissy? Build it out of MEAT!Start a fight with all your enemies in the most elaborate ways.But be careful not to go punching above your weight too early.Get a guitar. Fact: there are only two things cooler and more awesome than having a guitar, 1- being able to play "Smoke on the Water" on that guitar or 2- A Keytar.


And when you've honed your awesomeness, don't go wrecking it by walking. Look at Prince, that dude is so awesome because he doesn't walk anywhere (Stephen Hawkings is another example of this)