Bubble perms are EVIL

When faced with the prospects of seeing a gorilla playing a saxophone at her best friend's party, The Englisher was so psyched that she rushed out to get her hair trimmed. You see, not only was there a gorilla playing a saxophone, which under any circumstances would totally kick way more ass than anything (even Johnny Depp) but there were also balloons. Not the kind that raped you, but the awesome kind that, you know, floated around and filled a party with colour and latex.

The englisher was fond of having her hair cut, her favourite style was "The MacGuyver", but more recently she had been sporting a more subtle doo she liked to call, "Irene on neighbours circa 1997".

So the englisher went to the hairdresser and asked the hairdresser to bring out the Irene whilst also adding a dash of "Morag with the shits".

The problem was, the englisher was, like, in Serbia or some shit, and the hairdresser probably looked like this:

Long story short, the englisher next looked in the mirror and saw this:
And then she cut sick and opened a can of whoop ass on the hairdresser, but because the hairdresser was a totally sick motocross rider, she escaped in 0.623 seconds, which made the bubble permed englisher totally insane and turn into a transformer and she trashed the entire city on the way to the party, arriving looking like this
And it was still kinda ok, because the gorilla was still playing and said, "any requests?" The englisher said, "yes please, can you please play River Deep Mountain High in the style that Nikki Webster would sing it in if she were to resurrect her career with a cover of that song.

And the gorilla was all like, me no speaka english, because they were in like, serbia or some shit.

AND THAT IS WHY BUBBLE PERMS ARE EVIL!