Regrets

Cod fishing is currently filling me with a multitude of woes and regrets, here's some of them...

I regret buying a 'vintage' computer. $5,000 bucks and the damn thing doesn't even have solatair.


I love pizza, but I regret answering to this ad. Word of warning: if someone asks "you want pizzapits?" you answer NO!

I wish I had of made a more believable fake ID.

I regret listening to my parents as a kid when they told me stonewash and mullets are timeless fashion ephemera.

I regret giving this t-shirt to my gran, she doesn't stop wearing it.

I am upset that the love affair of spidey and batman didn't last. Their kids would have been pretty badass, crime fighters/ gay icons.

I feel this girl's woes, but we've all been 14 years old and done bad things for a cheeseburger.

I regret carrying my viagra in my carry on luggage, it's pretty embarrassing getting caught at customs, gotta get me a viagra ring so I won't be on border security again.

I regret answering this ad too.

Well, the week is over, gonna got and get me some beer.

Phallus Maximus and bad tattoos

If you like phallic symbols and bad tattoos, today's your day, you sick fuck...

Ooh, I'm going to study hard, I really want to pass the syphilis test, or do I? (can someone please see if www.healthypenis2003 .org is really a site?)

This dude passed the test, poor fella.Hardcore chicken. How does he even walk?


Two cock and ball Star Wars jokes in as many posts. No smoke without fire, that's all I'm saying.

Don't remember reading this one.

This guy does.

Is this the king of bad tattoos? A House of Pain tattoo? Even House of Pain regret getting a House of Pain tattoo.

In my search for phallic symbols I got this, thinking it was a nicely decorated frankfurt. The small print reveals a much less wholesome truth. Eeeww Kunterbunt!

There is no way you could justify an alternate meaning to this tattoo! WTF dude, being a misogynistic sodomist isn't enough you need to declare it to the world with a tattoo?

Ski tans rock! Mullets rock! This tattoo... doesn't rock.

When flowers aren't enough, express your love with a meat bouquet.

Happy Christmas cock n balls. I bet mum loved getting this for Christmas.

When the world of bad tattoos and phallic symbols intersect, things are pretty fucked up.

Worst Costumes EVER!

Just in time for Halloween, the contender for worst costume ever comes across my desk, apparently these dudes were trying to break into an apartment, this was their disguise...Harry Connick Jr has labelled the pair as despicable and racist.

Here are some other ultra shit costumes for halloween....

Either go as the love child of a a hipser and a cat OR a watermelon. Going as the lovechild of a hipster and a cat wearing a watermelon hat is just plain wierd.Photoshop is not a costume, especially if you can't use it properly.If you can walk on stilts AND live in Holland AND worship the devil AND can play a musical instrument you probably should be on TV or something, stop wasting your time trick or treating.Badass lion or has the dog raided your murkin collection again?Fucking goths. Halloween is a time for everyone else to dress up like a douchebag, you can have the other 364 days of the year.Pick a costume that compliments your body type. This dude should have gone as Peter Griffin from that episode of Family Guy where he becomes incontinent after staring at Lucy Liu's breasts for too long.Oh, he did that last year.Ummm, no one's gonna give this guy lollies, because he's just going to use them to lure kids into his dungeon. BTW, how do you get a beard to grow on top of a mask, bravo PedoGimp, bravo.Do your research, there's maybe one person in this photo who might pass as a member of the Wu Tang Clan, but I bet that she can't rhyme nearly as def as GZA.Cock and balls are funny no matter what galaxy you live on.I love it that this guy bought his own stein to Wendy's.A pole and a bikini does not a pole dancer make! Costume is one thing, but conviction is what makes a costume great.

Like this guy, he's totally gonna fuck shit up. Happy halloween.

Damn emos

I hate emos, look at them, disgusting, weepy retards...So I took advice from Zach De La Rocha and got to know the enemy, here's what my intensive studies on emo has revealed... They are the children of goths, but not nearly as awesome, mainly because they can't shit bats, emos shit black glitter instead.
They listen to gay music.
They play gay games.

Jesus was an emo.

They spend a lot of time on their hair, but it never looks good, but they think it does.

This guy killed this bear with his bear hands because it was an emo bear, he caught it listening to My Chemical Romance and drawing pictures of sad clowns.

Gangster's in Idaho have trained their dogs to kill emos, which is why there aren't any emos in Idaho anymore. Note to self: get a badass gangster dog.

Rice dicks are way better than emos, but if your boss is an emo you can get fired for making one.

Emos date girls like this, because they have no other options.So when emos grow up and have kids they'll look like this.
If you suspect that you or someone you know is an emo or is demonstrating emo tendencies, call this guy, he has developed a machine that turns emos into basketball players.

When he works out how to make tall people come out of his machine he's going to start an NBA franchise.