Random

I came to the stunning realisation that NOTHING is random in the world, sOMe people disagreed with me... So, in honour of the fact that nothing is random, here is a bunch of pictures which have no theme, but certainly aren't random...
Forget finding out who stole my ham from the fridge, let's get a sausage gravy machine in the lunch room!

Kyle, or should I say "nugget", you are a pussy.

Shaq is conducting an orchestra. I repeat. SHAQ is conducting an orchestra. Check out the guy at the back far left, he's all like- WTF?

This isn't random, because nothing is random.

The answer to the age old question, 'who would win in a fight between a buffalo and a bear' is comprehensively answered by the chunks of flesh hanging off that buffalo there.

ewwwww.... cradle cap.

being fat does not preclude me from loving the shit out of fruit.

Being fat does not prevent me from dressing like fruit.

Jesus loves all cats, even the hobo cats that can't blink.

WTF!

Happy friday.

Bad Business Decisions

Sending people back to work in the first week of January is just bad business, seriously, no one is doing any work round here, but here are a few worse business decisions... Surely cocks in the 1950 look the same as cocks in 2011, so surely this ad was just as suspect 60 years ago as it is today. Is that penis really washing its genitals down the bottom?
On the subject of genitals, your suggestive selling is accurate, but also a little creepy.

These guys don't really have to try to be bastards any more do they? $2.99? Are they kidding, what a rip off.

Of all the two edgy words you could put together to name your synth to make it sound futuristic and cool, these guys chose "rape" and "gaze". Bravo!

This ad really says, "not really a plastic surgeon at all".

I think kitty litter and Cathy comics already have the 'sad lonely single lady' squared up, there's no room for this kind of invention in the market.

Technically not breaching copyright, but technically a pretty fucking aweful name for a coffe (learn to spell you pricks).

You've pretty much shored your market down to goths and the epileptic with a name like that.

You think you've got a catchy slogan for your company until the day it becomes ironically accurate.

This is funny, because the banner behind says "happy english". You whacky thais.

Steve Jobs, iPad sounded a bit like a female hygiene product, but iPony is too literal, try harder.

I fully support reverse racism.

Actually, I can't argue with this one.

The camel in the logo suggests that they might not have picked up on the innuendo, but the fact that they tried to hire a good looking blonde to market their company and failed at that too confirms that these guys are a bunch of moose knuckles.

This Occupational Health and Safety Officer takes his job a little too seriously.

But what happens if a bunch of hoods that look like He-Man rock up and start trashing your store? What then hey wise guy?

I think this guy might the guy behind the name "iPad".

Talk about a one-stop shop!

But if you give underprivileged children hope who's going to work in your strip club in 15 years?

A little too literal.

What does Megafucks even sell?

Happy Friday Megafuckers.

Party Season Pt 2

In acknowledgment of the fact that shit tons of people I know are feeling hung over right now, I offer up my top ten hang over cures for your consideration: 1. Listen to soothing music, preferably performed by semi naked mexicans.
2. Forget about that potential date you probably offended drunk last night, get online and join an online dating service and wait for the classy blokes to come to you.

3. Yoghurt, fuck yeah!

4. Eat shit loads of watermelon, or a pony that's eaten shit loads of watermelon.

5. Ice yr junk.

6. Put cats in your pants.

7. Go for a swim, Putin/ Sharks optional.

8. Smoke cigarettes till you spew, and if you don't smoke, get a chubby asian kid to smoke for you.

9. Cold shower.

10. When you get home, keep drinking and don't stop drinking until it's the 1970s again.

Happy Friday

Party Season

It is officially party season, aka fucked up fest 2010, here's what I love about this time of year... People who spew on themselves in public.
Excellent cold cuts.

Michael Jackson hanging out with midgets.

Excellent fancy dress.

Old school comedians in old school glasses.

Hot mamas and their summer fashions.

Getting as fucked up as this.

And this.

And this.

Party on Wayne, Party on Garth.