People I Hate Right Now

I'm sooo mad right now. So here is my list of people I hate for no particular reason...

 Whoever decided to cancel Friends. Come on, could that show BE an funnier? Why cancel it punk?

                                                        Celebrities with stupid names.

                                                     People who violate rules of fashion.

                                                   Orangutangs who can't hold their booze.

                                                     Smart arse pricks with sideburns.

                                 The ironic/ non ironic divide that I am never sure when to cross.

                                                                        Musicians.

                                                                Random dudes.

                                                                Interpretive dancers.

                                                       Bald jerks who hate on muscle men.

                                                          People who blow dinosaurs.

                                                   People who wear non ironic mullets.

                                                     Inappropriate use of sticky tape.

                   Families who don't support their talented daughters... no matter what the talent is.

                                                                      Faux goths.

                                                                        Pot heads.

                                                                          Liars.

Tourists!

Worst Fancy Dress Ideas Ever!

Woo hoo.... fancy dress christmas party.

 Let's get this party started people with the baggiest pair of pants EVER made.

 Here's frank wearing a hat he made from his dead dog, very thrifty frank.

 A sloth is fancy... here is terry, wearing a sloth.

 Remember, no matter what you wear, make sure you can rip it up on the dancefloor in it.

 Classy classy class dress.

 Would an old man lie?

 Fuck you Clarkson.

 Ewwww.... faaaannnthy.

 OH MY GOD.... WANT... nom nom nom.

 Not a fancy hat.

 Very fancy hat.

 Fancy dress isn't so fancy the morning after.

 Would a fat person lie.

 What? I don't even know what this is!

 I know what this is, and I like it.... bacon.

 Extreme knitting... nice... but can you wear it?

 Psy... it's ok... we still love you bro.

 Home made fancy dress is best! Maybe.

And if you can't find fancy dress... go Nigel Pepper Cock style!

Boom.

Time to Go(van)

So THE Govan is leaving....what a bummer.

Here's my guide on how to know when it's time to go....

 When even bogans and monkeys are telling you to get fucked.

 When Chad whatever his name is can get a girl despite the atrocities to music he commits.

 When even the team you're rooting for want to smack you in the face.

 When people like this are allowed to walk the streets.

 When piercings get so intense you have a bike through your fucking mouth.

 When your neighbour leaves subtle hints not to park in front of their gate.

 When your own grandpa wants to fuck your shit up, on your birthday!

 When you can't even eat in peace anymore.

 When two wrongs start to make a right.

 When your hairdo is no longer as edgy as you thought it would be.

 When this bloke plays wonderwall for the 900th time.

 When even nature wants to beat up on you.

And seagulls, the worlds most annoying animal, are finding you annoying. 

That's when it's time to go.

So Go(van). We will miss you. But today is the day.

All the best mate.