Friends Wanted

Hi, I'm looking for friends, contact me if you fill all of these criteria....Must love glow sticks
And GG Allin.

Must hold delusional beliefs about the genetic selectivity of his sperm.

Must be such a douche that he'd spend money to fool a girl into staying with him.

Math skills not essential.

Must have the ability of making me look more manly than Bear Grylls just by being in your presence.

If ants hate you that's ok by me. I hate ants.

People with false kinky names need not apply.

You love your mother, I love my mother, let's be friends forever Heino, Heino, are you talking to me or someone over my shoulder.

Actually, no cock eyed albinos need apply.

Must love Cher.

You must be at least this badass.

Fatists should provide a picture of themselves for further consideration.

No good ship lollypop cutesy pansy poseurs allowed.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Fathers Day

It's father's day on Sunday, don't forget to visit your dad.
We know that men are hard to please, so here's my fool proof gift guide....

For the morbidly buff dad.

For the creepy religious dad.

For the just plain creepy dad.

The services of mammoth erection are great for the viagra reliant dad.

Dad can never have enough lessons in powerpoint.

Or enough fat man walking frames.

The only thing dads love more that ass fruit, and that's cock fruit.

Or maybe a sack of potatoes.

This is the most manly album in the most ungay way ever.

The loin cloth, on the other hand is the most unmanly undergarment in the most gay way.

Dad's like cool hairdoos too.

Have a fully awesome fathers day.