iPad: whatevs

So the general consensus seems to be that the iPad isn't that great.Even Bowie wasn't that excited by the announcement.

But seriously, it's not the end of the world people, there are heaps of worse inventions... Like this painting. Dear painter, you laughed out loud whilst painting this, are you sure you weren't STONED!

Bad idea: taking my kids to Porky's for dinner.

Oh great idea, not an arm warmer and not a wristlet, both of which are completely pointless items of clothing, so what you're saying is, this isn't even something completely useless, hey, it look hip though, right?

Mother fuckin Snuggie, it's a robe, backwards!

Sure, we can put Rammstein and Holidays on Ice in the same venue, they can share props.

I'm glad this tie contains scissors, I can slit my wrists if I ever wear it.

Classy.

Talk about an all time backfire.

The cake sofa is actually a pretty good idea, as long as you don't ever want to sit on it.

There aren't enough kids games where you win a deck of smokes in my opinion.

See you in February bitches.

Bridge Day

Today is a bridge from the weekend to Australia Day, day off! So here's my list of what make's Australia totally kickass... Immigration = Engrish (and the joy of sucking on balls!)
An ageing population (that don't give a shit).

Awesome fashion.

Great wildlife.

Cost of living is low.

AC/DC

Mother fucking popsicles bitch!

Tasmanians!

Heath Ledger.

Avatastic

So it turns out some Taiwanese dude mother fucking DIED after watching Avatar. Getting my arse into gear to watch that movie is now at the top of my TO DO list. Also on my TO DO list is: Getting a banana sticker, whatever that is.
Get the band back together and record some new tunes.

Join a more theatrical football team.

Get way more excited about playing guitar and surfing the net at the same time. Multiskillin' bitches!

Stop eating sandwiches, start eating Bread Gloves. BTW- if it's advertised on TV it MUST be aweseome.

Massage my mate more often.

Enroll into a portrait drawing course.

New civilisations

I was most excited to read that archeologists had discovered a new civilisation in the Amazonian basin, it's probably El Dorado they reckon. Get pumped for this and various other great things that scientists have recently discovered...

These genius' came to the conclusion that 'ham is tasty', can't wait to see what revelations they can make about bacon. (how did he justify a semi-nude leggy blonde picture in this school project, the man is a true genius.)

Apparently child predators shop on the internet too.
Scientists have revealed that Oprah is totally kicks ass.

Links between the gay gene and pokemon have been discovered, allowing parents to diagnose what are being dubbed 'manga mincers' at an early stage.

Cave man built a fire to keep warm, the modern elder adult now takes a dump under the doona, now THAT'S progress.

Scientists discover great ways to hide their embarrassing erections on an expedition to the pacific rim.

News flash: war sucks.
Two year three kids have discovered great ways to make the library fun.

Scientists have spliced a collection of kick-ass animals and your sister's highlighter collection to create a radical and colourful conglomeration of cool that is biologically programmed to fuck you up.

Bible studies group finally find the interesting bits in the bible.

The wonders of technology have created the most kick ass tree house in history.

Kids are on the menu at my local chinese take away shop... yay!

Happy Devonport Cup Day

Back to work.

I always try to tell people I should be living in Tasmania, those bastards have a public holiday today...